Even Bull Hurley was like “Nah, I’m good.”

@gabigarciaoficial disputando queda de braço #jiujitsu_videos #jiujitsuvideos

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Hey, remember that scene in Cannonball Run when Jackie Chan does that Kung Fu-jumping-double-leg-kicky-thing and splits his white jumpsuit in the crotch?

Yeah, this has nothing to do with that, but I was in Hong Kong last week and for some reason, I couldn’t stop thinking about Asian genitalia.

Anyway, I was scouring the internet for something relevant to post this fine Tuesday morning and as you can see, I came up snake eyes on that roll. So let’s fall back on the tried-and-true “Gabi Garcia is huge and does [insert feat of strength here]” post and try to hit that mandatory word count.

Hey look, I’m halfway there!

The re-inflated Gabs was arm wrestling a man at some point over the past few weeks and won because the Brazilian jiu-jitsu champion is so huge, her earrings double as Atlas Stones. Not just any man, but the baller who somehow landed mixed martial arts (MMA) featherweight champion Cris Cyborg.

In other stupid news, Flash Gordon just fought The Incredible Hulk (seriously).

Carry on.