You read that right.
The same man who was indicted on federal money-laundering charges related to mortgage fraud and suspended by the CSAC for registering elevated levels of testosterone following his UFC 117 loss to Anderson Silva, wants to help you become a better person.
Two-time number one middleweight contender Chael Sonnen penned a self-help book entitled The Voice of Reason: A V.I.P. Pass to Enlightenment during his extended absence from MMA competition, which you’ll be able to pick up on book store shelves the nation over on May 15. The book is being distributed by Victory Belt publishing.
From the sleeve:
Presence. Tenacity. Insight. Omniscience. No need to look these words up. They are defined by yours truly. Who am I? I’m the one who needs no introduction, the walking thesaurus, the UFC’s most infamous and feared destroyer of men. I am Chael P. Sonnen, and you want to be just like me.
It’s your lucky day. What you are holding in your hands is nothing short of a V.I.P pass to enlightenment. In the coming pages my humor and tales of heroic adventure will baptize you in superhuman greatness. Allow me to carry you like a frail damsel as I make a nightmarish decent into the bowels of Sao Paulo. Sit before me as a student as I teach you about my plans of creating a Chaelocracy, which translates to “A Better Earth.” Shower me with praise as I take you into my manly mitts like a lump of seemingly worthless clay and craft you into something far better than yourself — me.
Like all great men of myth and legend, I strive for the betterment of the human race. Prometheus brought us fire; Dana White brought us the modern day gladiator; and I bring you a step-by-step guide to being just like me. Do you have what it takes? Is there truly a chance that one day you will be able to walk in my shoes? Purchase this book and find out. There is no better day to stop being you and start trying to be me.
You’re welcome civilization.
You know there’s more. So head over to Amazon to hear why else Sonnen believes you would benefit from purchasing this tome and reserve your very own copy today.
$16.47 for a hardcover? That’s not a bad deal.