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Chael Sonnen “I Consider Myself 5-1 Against Anderson Silva”

UFC middleweight fighter Chael Sonnen is currently taking an encouraged leave of absence from mixed martial arts competition so that he may focus on issues clouding his personal life, namely the fallout from his recent guilty plea in a case alleging him of federal money laundering related to a real estate deal. Sonnen has found enough time during his hiatus to cook up a fresh batch of insults to lob at UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva, who defeated Sonnen in August and recently defended his belt against Vitor Belfort in spectacular fashion. Sonnen has offered up his latest round of verbal jabs to this week, likely in an attempt to keep the wheels spinning on his hype-wagon while he sits out.

“Here’s a little something for you ‘pocket protector/number cruncher’ types: I hit Anderson Silva with more unanswered, undefended strikes than any fighter has landed on an opponent in the history of combat sports,” Sonnen claimed. “Go count ’em up, Poindexters.”

Then, channeling his best Muhammad Ali, Sonnen launched into a diatribe artfully describing his dominating (up until the point Silva slapped on the fight-ending triangle) performance against “The Spider,” also claiming that he let his guard down and opened himself up for Silva’s Hail Mary finish out of a dulled interest in the fight.

“I struck him more times than Quasimodo struck the church bell at Notre Dame. I hit him so many times that I stopped fighting because my fists bouncing off his melon were ringing so loudly that it sounded like a bell, and I thought that the round, and the fight, were over,” he wrote. “Actually, that’s not true–I actually stopped out of mercy and boredom.”

Sonnen also put forth for public record what he considers his actual record against Silva, estimating it to be considerably more impressive than the currently standing 0-1.

“God knows, if he hit me with a TENTH of the undefended shots I hit him with, the ref would have pulled him off me faster than a meth-head pulls the foil off a dozen shoplifted Dristan tablets,” he went on. “I hit him enough to have the fight stopped FIVE TIMES, in FIVE separate rounds.

“Therefore, I consider myself 5-1 against him, even allowing for his tainted triangle which only came after I thought the fight was over, and I had already turned the side of his head into a bowl of porridge with my fists.”

No word yet on when Sonnen will return to the cage, but for those who were missing out on his witty banter, it seems that even a federal court case is not enough to keep Sonnen from frequently letting us know what he thinks.